Pragmatic Buyer T-Shirts

'The old one fell apart.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

The Clinton Campaign, post-mid-September

Garage Music

'I'm sick and tired of you and your 'get rich quick' schemes.'

'Thanks, but no. It just doesn't add up.'

Quicksand Swamp - Cheap Burial Plots.

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

"I call it the The Power of Positive Pessimism. Knowing full well that most of the things I try almost always end in disaster, yet somehow finding enjoyment in every step of the process. It works for me!"

Mall of ages

'Bless this food, and protect us from the pesticides and additives therein.'

"What if you go under before I need to?"

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

"I don't wear jewelry, but cash is nice."

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

Real estate.

"Frank's gone fishing, and he'll be looking forward to a fish dinner."

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

"Where'd you get that?"

Half full. Optimist. Half empty. Pessimist. Pragmatist.

"I'm off to the sales!"

Bag for life and a bag for wife.

Shopping Trips

"The main, unchangeable principal that I use in life is to be pragmatic."

"OK, let's go to contract."

Act now! Time is running out! Sale. 'Can I help you?'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"I married for love." "I divorced for money."

"You can be anything!". . . "Take whatever you can get."

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

'I'm sorry, but all we have in your price range are a few bales of hay.'