Philosophical Property Buyer T-Shirts

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"I shop, therefore I am."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Look, son, real estate."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Home Sweet Second Home.

Mouse real estate!

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"Darling, there's an offer for a time-share nest in Florida: Should we apply?"

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

'This is close enough.'

Dog Realtor

"You've got termites."

'Don't wait too long to decide. A house with a view like this can go at any minute....'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

'The old one fell apart.'

"Do you have one with a bigger mud room?"

Now if you're looking for a handy fixer-upper

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."