Property Philosopher T-Shirts

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Apt house matchmaker: '23 - D meet 17 - c, sublet...'

"It's a buy-to-think."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Mouse real estate!

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

The Speculators

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

House hunting is cruel.

"You've got termites."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'My expedition confirmed what we already suspected: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered by water, and the rest by real estate!'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

Real Estate Crispy Flakes: Location/Location/ Location

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

Real Estate Life