Professional Decorator Gifts

Super glue . . .

Non-Drip Paint

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Painting the Ceiling

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Use your imagination.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"You're welcome."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'