Professional Critique Lover Gifts

"Do you mind if I put this on instagram?"

Filling the Missile Gap

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Nutty Assistants

Critics In Love

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

Ezra Pound

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

Art is a cruel mistress.

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

Editor

Fake Diplomas

"Your earlier work was better."

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Hosni Mubarak blinks

'I really don't see the point?'

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."

"Well, the x-rays show you have a little arthritis in your hands, but mostly they're just poorly drawn."

'You're husband's death is an absolute tragedy, it's going to play havoc with my monthly mortality targets.'

"This is an intervention. It's clear that you've resumed your habit of reading the reviews."