Critique Lover Gifts

Fake Diplomas

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

"Ugh... Jerry Saltz is totally junking up my feed again."

Nutty Assistants

Coffin Bomber

"The technique is good, but somehow I feel that the artist didn't take enough time observing the subject."

"The Squire theater is just two blocks down, right on the corner. the show thee, 'Whispers of Danger' is a standard mystery, with a lackluster second act. Mis Laporte, however, gives the most lyrical and sensitive performance of her career."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

Jacques et Jille

Filling the Missile Gap

An acceptable level of TV violence.

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

The Real Russian history

"Well...I notice a little criticism on my leadership style..."

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Cartoon Editor: No, No, No, No, No, No, Maybe.

Rubbish, Poppycock, Balderdash

'Too many cliches? Now hold your horses!'

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

A man is looking at a sign saying Exhibition of art exhibition jargon.

Ezra Pound

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the consultants."

"Do you mind if I give you feedback?"

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Art is a cruel mistress.

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

Editor

New Jersey Cops Gone Wild

'On a personal note, I'm happy to report that I've been promoted from the network's chief 'pundit' to chief 'pontificator'.'

"Is it a witty and insightful exploration of the zeitgeist of 'boundaries' or is it in fact, the way out?"

"Your earlier work was better."

Waiting for the Phone to Ring