Professional Blamer Gifts

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

Loyalty Award

"Ms. Ray, you're getting a promotion! You're no longer my Gal Friday. You're now my Gal Saturday."

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

Two plans - one long-term and one short-term.

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"I want to work from home!"

'They're a very successful family.'

Professional woman in pub

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

"I'm not the ruthless guy everyone says I am, but that's my goal."

"Office of quality assurance"

Work Life Balance

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"Appointments. Disappointments."

'Rex, you've slobbered all over the ball! There's no way I'd put it in my mouth now!'

'I am trying to achieve a work-life balance'

Good luck with your video interview.

"Oh no, I never replied to Theresa's email! And tomorrow I must call Steve.... What does Yara think of me?"

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."