Production Line Gifts

Bone shaped biscuits - rejects go in a coffin.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Canadian film production

New music conference

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Little Red Riding Carpet

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

Tim Burton

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.