Production Line Prints

Bone shaped biscuits - rejects go in a coffin.

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Showbiz Awards

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Canadian film production

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

Buster Keaton

New music conference

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Little Red Riding Carpet

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

Tim Burton

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

DVD extras - the making of the boxed set.

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

'When you said this movie's about a fish out of water, I was expecting more of a light-hearted comedy.'

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

"Which part are you reading for?"