Pro Tour Dreamer Gifts

'Let me put your cholesterol levels in terms you'll understand. If they were your bowling scores, you'r be making a fortune on the pro tour.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"That arrow always goes to the bottom when I walk by."

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

'I refuse to relinquish the title, 'Top Young Exec'.'

Midnight Basketball

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

Baseball Dreams

"I already GAVE you a raise, three weeks from now!"

God in the bunker.

'I just wish that meant getting ready for the prom instead of the NCAA basketball tournament.'

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

'Edna, the company was serious when it said it planned on promoting from within.'

Not The Real Me

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

Penalty

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

'No, we haven't made a decision on your promotion. We're still looking for a reason to deny it.'

Castaway with a tennis court.

"Why are you studying? Go outside and practice shooting three pointers, so you can ear big bucks like Steph Curry."

It's been awhile, so to refresh your memory - what you need in your car for winter snowstorms...

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

I'm a vegan triathlete

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

'I wanna be a hockey goalkeeper.'

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"