Prize-winning Ponderer Gifts

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"We'll destroy it to the ground ... ...and then..."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."