Privacy Worrier Gifts

"Ever since you screamed at me I've been getting ads from divorce lawyers."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Police Statetion

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

She required plenty of personal space.

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Hello from the shed.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.