Privacy Policies Gifts

"No need to hide, all information is confidential."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'The recession is over, again.'

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

A Little Extra

She required plenty of personal space.

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"Take special note of the change to our policy on honesty."

'More government surveillance!'