Privacy Gifts

Due to privacy concerns Santa no longer sees you when you're sleeping, or when you're awake.

"Maybe you should disable your cookies, Steve."

Cutting out the middleman

'Before we discuss naughty and nice, can I see your privacy statement?'

"It's free, but they sell your information."

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'Mrs. Cranley! You need to sign this HIPAA privacy form before the doctor can look at those warts on your stomach!'

'This message contains confidential and/or legally privileged information, unintended recipients may not use, copy or disclose any portion of this transmission.'

'I hear you're keeping a file on who's been naughty and who's been nice...'

"First I must warn you that anything you say may be taken down and used to assist you."

'I really can't talk about my childhood. Before I left home, they made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'It's a memory stick with the name and address of every child on the planet.'

The Ungooglable Man

"You wear it on your wrist and it hacks - I mean, tracks - all your personal data."

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

The Government is now following you...

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

'I deplore the lack of internet privacy and so do 5,000 of my Facebook friends,'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Watching The Watchers.

"We need to start listening to our customers."

'Can't say. It's private.'

'I see that you have two sisters and you like the Beatles. I predict that you will graduate in 2012...'

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Data mine - Gold mine.

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I can't say exactly where we are, but I'm pretty confident it's British territory,'

Databank - 'If you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, we used to use a crystal ball, but hacking into your credit files is much more informative!"

Stethoscope line.

Medical records privacy

"In the future, everyone will have privacy for fifteen minutes."

"Sorry I can't tell you what's on my wish list. I don't share my personal data."

"Thank you for calling civil liberties - your call may be recorded."

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."