Law And Privacy Gifts

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

"Could you tell us why your husband sang a new son in the shower this morning?"

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Club Antisocial

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Privacy Conference Security

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

A Little Extra

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

She required plenty of personal space.

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'More government surveillance!'

Clickbait

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Data From a Truck

Ditch the Phones