Privacy Commentator Gifts

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

"Hey wait a minute! That's not us!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Police Statetion

'Cartoonist thinking'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Privacy - Surveillance

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

The Best Defense

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."