Privacy Commentator Gifts

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Cartoonist thinking'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Yes, I'm alone."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Police Statetion

Privacy - Surveillance

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."