Privacy Critiquer Gifts

The Anti-Agent

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Police Statetion

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

CCTV in church.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Privacy

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."