Privacy Expert Gifts

You Think Your Phone Is Spying on You.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Privacy - Surveillance

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Yes, I'm alone."

'More government surveillance!'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Police Statetion

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

"Good afternoon, Ted. I'm your online presence."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.