Prison Workers Gifts

'Dear, I'd like you to meet Michel LeCouteau -- we did time together once.'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Skeptic Tank.

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'Are you free at the moment?'

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Freedom Book.

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

When staffing agencies screw up.

Prisoner Trump

Exposed and imprisoned.

'I'm glad you're making friends, Darrel.'

"From where I'm sitting, ha-ha, you're behind bars!"

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Locking Up Crime