Prison Staff Gifts

'I'm applying for a job in the prison cafeteria. Can I list you as a reference?'

"It's the warden's idea. She thinks it's cute."

'You need to get out more.'

HM Scrubways Top Security Chapel.

"Lucky for you we have good health care at this prison."

Well, looks like retirement planning is done."

"This is the part of the job I hate."

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"

Lethal Injection

How much did you tell them?

Prison Service Guard sitting at his desk with 'Inside' and 'Outside' trays.

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Breakout at the Women's Prison Maternity Ward

"Hi, scheduling? I've only got 60 seconds, so I'll make this quick..."

"Twenty years ago I was cleaning this cell and someone locked the door behind me. I'm a janitor here. They still don't believe me."

I don

No offense, Mr. Spontelli, but you're like, the worst guidance counselor ever.

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

Yoga Sequence to Avoid