Prison Staff Gifts

'I'm applying for a job in the prison cafeteria. Can I list you as a reference?'

"It's the warden's idea. She thinks it's cute."

HM Scrubways Top Security Chapel.

"Lucky for you we have good health care at this prison."

"This is the part of the job I hate."

"What do you mean, 'you don't serve porridge?!"

Lethal Injection

How much did you tell them?

Prison Service Guard sitting at his desk with 'Inside' and 'Outside' trays.

Martha bakes with her new friends.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Breakout at the Women's Prison Maternity Ward

"Hi, scheduling? I've only got 60 seconds, so I'll make this quick..."

"My Doordash driver is at the front gate."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Madoff and devil.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Freedom Book.

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'Are you free at the moment?'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'