Correctional Facility Staff Gifts

Prison masks

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Madoff and devil.

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

Freedom Book.

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

'Are you free at the moment?'

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'These are Martha's Camp Cupcake Muffins - and I've just ordered her new apron from the prison gift shop.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Other than the fact that you were a trustee at the county jail, do you have any other character references?'

Prisoner Crossing

Locking Up Crime

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

Exposed and imprisoned.

'Escape?...Why?'

'Well, now we know -- blaming the victim DOESN'T work.'

Prisoner Trump

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

When staffing agencies screw up.