Prison-themed Gift Lover Gifts

Prisoner counting off the days on his computer.

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

Wow. A corner office at last

'What are you in for?'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack In the Big House

The Man in the Iron Basque!

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

You gonna eat your pickle?

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

Prison Art - Bent Screw

'Thanks, but I don't need a lawyer. I'm going to tell the truth.'

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"Drawing with a revoked artistic license. What about you?"

Lawyer to prisoner- It's stopped raining, I'll be going,

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

'When you flippantly asked them to honour your August holiday arrangements they flippantly honoured August 2022.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

"For me, a confessions is much too autobiographical."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"I buried three husbands. . .problem was, two of them were only napping."

'Count yourself lucky - he used to SHOOT the messenger.'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

"Don't let them tell you it gets better.'

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

All this place needs is splash of paint and some pretty drapes.

The room service stinks.

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'

Ice-cream van supplies skyscraper of cones to reach prisoner in upstairs cell

"Man, how did they ever catch you?"

The Birdman of Alcatraz - a guy in prison sitting on a perch with newspaper down, bird seed, a bell and mirror

"What do you miss most?"