Prison Page-turner Pillows

"Damn! I forgot to bring a book."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Prison Wallpaper.

'I'm in for being a killer. You?'

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

Earl's magic show was very popular with his fellow inmates

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

Barnaby in Newgate

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Tell you what - you've really caught the sun to-day.'

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."