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Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.

'What do you mean, the food is terrific?'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

"This is why I don't want you doing our taxes anymore."

Prisoner decorating his cell.

Food Chain Gang

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

Preferred Prisons

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

'It's windy this morning.'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

What the?! It's all just wallpaper.

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

Prison decorating

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

Identity theft. You?

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

'So, how was your day?'

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

'Tell them I stepped away from my desk.'

"Ironically, I've got no bars."

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'