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'If you think this is bad, just wait till they take away your bathroom privileges!'

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

Visitation Day at the Bug Jar

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Food Chain Gang

Prisoner decorating his cell.

'Before you go to prison, Sims, I'd like to give you this award as 'Scapegoat of the Year'.'

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

Preferred Prisons

'It's windy this morning.'

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'I'm getting into a rut -- campaign, election, indictment, parole... campaign, election, indictment, parole....'

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

"You're doing 20-to-life. What do you mean you haven't got time to floss?"

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

"I had everyone fooled. Could have got away with it, too, if he had just kept his big mouth shut."

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

"I got eight to twelve years, which was in line with Wall Street expectations."

'Don't worry, I didn't tell them anything they didn't already suspect.'

"You have to stop doing this. This is the eighth time you've received a life sentence!"

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'When I first saw you on TV, I just knew you were innocent of stalking.'

"He stole my heart, I stole his wallet. – Now that's what I call vengeance."

"For God's sake man, give it a break. You were an accountant!"

'Yes, you look stunning. Can I put the mirror down now?'

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

Prison decorating

'Look on the bright side, think of all the money you saved by conducting your own defence.'

What the?! It's all just wallpaper.

'Tell them I stepped away from my desk.'

Prisoner playing golf with his ball and chains.