Prison Memoir Enthusiast Pillows

'Dear Diary... Still no change...'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.

Barnaby in Newgate

Birdman of Alcatraz.

'Let's stay in tonight.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

Prisoner wallpapering over his tally of days in prison.

Santa visits prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

"I couldn’t get a date on the outside and now I’m swamped with marriage proposals!"

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

Prison coffee table books.

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

The Bird man of Alcatraz celebrates Thanksgiving.

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Before this arthritis hit me, I was a top-of-the-line pickpocket. Now I can only steal from penny loafers.'