Prison Memoir Enthusiast Pillows

'Dear Diary... Still no change...'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'There's one clever man, he managed to lose almost a billion dollars before they caught him.'

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Santa visits prison.

'Let's stay in tonight.'

'Why did you leave your last job after being there for twenty years?' 'I got paroled.'

Birdman of Alcatraz.

Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.

Barnaby in Newgate

Prisoner wallpapering over his tally of days in prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

The Bird man of Alcatraz celebrates Thanksgiving.

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'Before this arthritis hit me, I was a top-of-the-line pickpocket. Now I can only steal from penny loafers.'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'