Prison Literature Enthusiast Pillows

A man sitting in a jail cell reading a book titled "Who's Who in Jail".

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

Tic-tac-toe

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"Prose & Cons."

A prison with a conservatory attached.

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"No ham in this, I hope?"

"This is Cliff. He's a neo-con."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Barnaby in Newgate

Santa visits prison.

'It was the 'nothing but the truth' part that tripped me up.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'This book changed my life. I stole it.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

'Want a cracker?'

'One 10 by 8 for the wife, and a dozen postcard size for the rest of the gang...'

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

No caption. (Two jail cell inmates are seen looking at each other. One is a human, one a mouse. There are bars on the cell window and bars shown on the mouse hole).

"It's an 'un'care package from my ex-wife." "Ooooh... is that K-Y Jelly?!"

"I'd like a quick word with you after visiting time."

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Hey, Fred - Got a minute?'

"But, I don't want to call you 'Daddy'. Can't I just call you by your actual name?"

'I got twenty years for abduction, what about you?'

'They reckon nobody is ever more than ten feet away from a rat.'

'Don't worry - You'll cross the pain threshold in a couple of years.'