Prison Documentary Enthusiast Pillows

'Let's stay in tonight.'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'Yes, Frank, yes. That's how my body will fall when you kill me, and your laughter will echo down the corridors...'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"Surely it can't be twenty-five years already!"

"Escape Thursday? But that's Bar-B-Qued pork night!"

Preferred Prisons

"No ham in this, I hope?"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

'Of course you can't remember what you had for breakfast -- we didn't HAVE any breakfast.'

Barnaby in Newgate

Prisoner wallpapering over his tally of days in prison.

Santa visits prison.

'Yeah? Well you could use some deodorant, too!'

Man in a Chain Gang has a Peg Leg.

'I'm a celebrity now...so get me out of here!'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

Birdman of Alcatraz.

'Thanks, but I don't need a lawyer. I'm going to tell the truth.'

"It's hard to believe you've served 14 years already for armed robbery. I lose all track of time when I'm shopping."

"I think what I miss most is robbing people."

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'

Prison officers' hospital visit.

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'

Lawyer to prisoner- It's stopped raining, I'll be going,

The Bird man of Alcatraz celebrates Thanksgiving.

'I'm going to handle your appeal, but remember, I'm on death row.'

'Before this arthritis hit me, I was a top-of-the-line pickpocket. Now I can only steal from penny loafers.'

'Can you sentence me to an overcrowded prison that has an overcrowded gang shower?'

And for sport we've got a spittoon.

"Will there be time to stop at the gift shop?"

'Stampede, what you in for?'