Prison Documentaries Pillows

Guess what my number is?

"Can I still do my pilates?"

Tic-tac-toe

I'm worried about Uncle Mort. He's still in jail for refusing to reveal his secret source? Not just that. It's his relationship with Sadie. I feel like … What? She says she wants him back, but I'm not sure. Why would you say something like that? Your sweetie made you a saw with a cake in it. Oooh.

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

"I stole me a pot of gold. That's how I became a Lepre-CON."

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

'One of the guards is leaiving, would you like to make a contribution to his farewell gift?'

Ronnie 'the chameleon' waits for a break in the traffic, before making his break for it...

Sweet Jailbreak

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

Prison Wallpaper.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, framed by the cat - that's what we all say.

"My name's Aldred and I'll be your server this evening."

'I said there is a F-I-L-E in the C-A-K-E!'

Food Chain Gang

"It's a Plodcast!"

The Future of Detective Work

'If you don't mnage to have enough sunshine you should eat more of oily fish, black caviare, eggs and butter.'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Preferred Prisons

"Put off the escape until tomorrow - I've only enough food in the house for one..."

In The Bastille

'I tried to give a woman the Heimlich maneuver, and it turned out she was doing the Macarena.'

Guys in torture chamber: 'TGIF!' and 'Shaddup.'

'It must have been quite a mid-life crisis if they gave you 30 years for it.'

'That fugitive looks just like our financial advisor.'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'Ms. Daly, have there been any important e-mails or voice-mails during my incarceration?'

What the?! It's all just wallpaper.

"Refusal to Obey a Police Officer. You?"

'It wouldn't hurt you to visit me once in a while!'

'The warden said, no...you may not call in an interior decorator.'

'It was a woman. . .I was snitched by a pigeonette.'

Identity theft. You?