Prison Guard Pillows

"It was WORSE than guilty! - The jury found me NONCOMPLIANT!"

'I'm not here for committing a crime - I'm here for failing to comply with a guideline.'

"And with 10 being the highest, you're sure you're only at a 6?"

"Hi, I'm Hugo -- I'll be your compliance officer."

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"The last thing you want to do while on the stand is pull a temper tantrum."

'I was okay with the library and rec room, but the wall climbing has got me nervous.'

"I'm not a rat. I'm a person who ratted you out. There's a difference. You need to accept that so we can get past it."

'You never take me anywhere.'

'A guard's coming! Quick, fill in the hole!'

"Your nails look much better. But that wasn't why I gave you the file."

"Everybody thinks I'm in rehab."

"If the crime rate goes up, we'll know it wasn't you."

"From now on, maybe we should let somebody ELSE'S conscience be our guide."

'Oh my lord, they've turned into pillows!'

'For my last meal, I'd like something that's not high in trans-fat.'

'I'd be a free man today if it weren't for all the witnesses, the evidence and my confession.'

'I know your sentence is up, but the locksmith died last year.'

Man looking at a storefront that reads "Three Guys on Work Release".

'I'll have the number three.'

"I'll trade you two of my chocolate bars for five of your cigarettes."

Human Rights and Human Wrongs.

"False alarm. It was just a telemarketer."

'What's so funny?'

'I tried to turn my life around, and apparently I made an illegal U-turn,'

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

'So...er...been anywhere nice this year.' Prison Barber

Folsom Prison - A Gated Community

'Okay, who gets the kosher meal?'

Christmas kiss

Intimate Apparel and Inmate Apparel.

'You had the worst lawyer I ever saw.Particularly as we abolished the death penalty years ago!'

Deaf Row

Tennis in jail

"Not so fast. I got life PLUS seventy-five years."