Printed Pages Appreciator Gifts

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Big Newspaper Delivery

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Bibliomaniac

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

3:00 pm - Meet the author

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"You go on without me; I'm just going to riffle through some papers. I so love to riffle."

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"Hope you know how fortunate you are...next year's tax forms get complicated..."