Printed Pages Appreciator T-Shirts

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

"First they came for the horoscope and the crossword and I did nothing. Then they came for the cartoonists and there was no-one left to satirise it."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

Big Newspaper Delivery

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Bibliomaniac

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

3:00 pm - Meet the author

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

'Y'know it started as a bedtime story he told his kids.'

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

'Read ALL about IT! In other less TRASHIER Newspapers!'

Roald Dahl's books updated for modern sensitivities.

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"He may be dead but according to this survey his paperwork is WORLD CLASS!"

"Oh I don't work here, I just love filling out forms."

"You go on without me; I'm just going to riffle through some papers. I so love to riffle."

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

'First, I want you to get your dependents off my desk.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

"Hope you know how fortunate you are...next year's tax forms get complicated..."