Paper Aficionado Gifts

Newspapers discussing how they are made from recycled paper.

"What could I do? It jumped off the newsstand."

'You're in luck... nasty papercuts are my specialty.'

'My advice; forget the elephant in the room - focus on the Quad Demy.'

'I hate to complain, but papering my cage with computer printouts just isn't the same as good old newspapers.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up in this office and you'll pay the price.'

"Why don't you ever fetch anything good like a pizza?"

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Stationery Shop

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

Cut out and keep your own Jane Austen.

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'We can't afford advertising like this! That's one page for the drug and two just for the side effects!'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

'Hang on a minute! We forgot to write down that check number in the giant register...'

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

International House of Paperwork

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

Mummy Toilet Roll.