Paper Connoisseur Gifts

How to write

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Stationery Shop

"He's an abstract artist."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

Vincent Van Goat.

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

"It's called 'Sold'."

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

Masterpiece?

Before Art School. During Art School. After Art School

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

"In this piece, the price clearly does not reflect what the artist is trying to say."

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"Who's the artist?"

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'