Paper Connoisseur Gifts

How to write

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Satya Nutella

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"He's an abstract artist."

Stationery Shop

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

Vincent Van Goat.

He's the first Master Sculptor since the Renaissance also trained as a Mohel.

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

-"Wife and kids?" -"No, a photo of a set of beautifully prepared accounts."

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

He waited for the next wave of regulations to arrive.

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

"Not succinct or to the point Ambrose...just how we like it!"

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'I got confused by the news system so filed everything under 'M' for miscellaneous!'

'Hang on a minute! We forgot to write down that check number in the giant register...'

International House of Paperwork

Masterpiece?

Colin finds it difficult to let go of paperwork.

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

Federal Bureau of Bureaucrats: 'Regulation - the mother's milk of politics!'

IN, IN OVER MY HEAD

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"Who's the artist?"