Princess Stories Lover Gifts

"I'm not sure... maybe this is how pandemics get started."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

The Mouse Princess

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

Accountant Bedtime Stories

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

'Hey! No Tongues!'

'...Oh yeah? Well I've never heard of the 'denture fairy'.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"The third little pig built a super strong brick house so The Big Bad Wolf couldn't break in and violate the rules of social distancing."

"Figure it out, Sherlock! I'm a lovebird. You're a lovebird. We're cooped-up together in this cage 24 hours a day! Sooner or later it was bound to happen."

Fairy godmother arrives

"Wow. . . Are you expecting or did you nibble on your gingerbread house again?"

Folk o' the Wee

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

"Fashion over function!"

Here "Lies" Pinocchio

Finding Bigfoot

"And that won't wake me either."

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'I'm telling you, that was Harris and he was carrying a goose.'

Duchess

"I'm Hygienia, the good witch of the north."

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

"You call that a KISS?"

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'