Princess Story Collector Gifts

Prince pulls whole hair and face off of Rapunzel's head.

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

The Poky Little Pupa.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

"It's a cow thing. You wouldn't understand."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Define fair."

Marley had a little lamb

7 More Dwarfs

Ask A Silly Question.

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

Rapunzcow

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

Fairy Library - Hop o' my Thumb Title Page

"One blackbird pizza?"

"No, I don't think you 'new break shoes', I think you need new break feet. You are supposed to depress the brake pedal you know."

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Alice in Wonderland - Alice Meets the Cheshire Cat.

Who's Dead

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'Not now, Aladdin...'

Newborn making the V-sign

"When they assured me the solar panels would look like crackers, I said "What the hell!"'

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

"I forgive you, Bumpty."