Ancient Tales Lover Gifts

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

'Jason and the vodkasnorts'

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

J. R. R. Tolkien

Neptune

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Trojan Hurdler.

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Messenger of the gods in the digital age.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

Adam and Eve Arrested

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Finding Bigfoot

"Are you sure you need to make a large print version available?"

"Long Johns Silver."

Romulus (left) and Remus

'That looks tempting.'

"No, let down your hair!"

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

"That's not what I said."

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

'When I think of all the men I could've married...'

'He was an evil king.'

'You're too wrapped up in yourself.'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'