Ancient Lore Lover Gifts

"Enough with the fake news."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

The Dungeon

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

"We've come here for the martinis, we've always come here for the martinis."

Mermaids

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

'You're too wrapped up in yourself.'

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

Puppet holding cross at Vampire Puppet

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

Friendly Troll.

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

"Dragons were never out of style."

'Jason and the vodkasnorts'

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'

Our menu is legendary. Really? Do you serve leg of Sasquatch? That's my favorite legend! Menu.

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

"Damn! - They've just raised my retirement age to 1,250...!"