Ancient Lore Lover Gifts

"Enough with the fake news."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"I know winter gets ugly, but this is ridiculous!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

The Dungeon

Mermaids

"We've come here for the martinis, we've always come here for the martinis."

'You're too wrapped up in yourself.'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

Friendly Troll.

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

Before the invention of writing, ancient wisdom was passed down the generations orally, through the art of storytelling.

'I'm Smallfoot, Bigfoot's cousin!'

'We spent centuries refining our eyes of newt and bat wing potion, and now we're expected to give it away for free?'

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

'He's been like that since he pulled the sword out of the stone.'

"Damn! - They've just raised my retirement age to 1,250...!"

"Dragons were never out of style."

'Jason and the vodkasnorts'

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

"I completely forget why we're making him do that."