Ancient Stories Lover Gifts

The Dungeon

J. R. R. Tolkien

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Trojan Hurdler.

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

'- and what makes you think they must have been TALL?'

"Noah, what do you think are the most dangerous animals you've brought abroad the ark?"

"I hope you realize your late arrivals for work seriously upset the museum's visitors!"

'Yes, they've been fact-checked!'

Orpheus and Eurydice

Finding Bigfoot

Romulus (left) and Remus

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Lost to antiquity.

'A I and a II and a I-II-III...'

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

Ancient Warriors versus Modern Warriors

'You're too wrapped up in yourself.'

'He was an evil king.'

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

Achilles often feared that his weakness would be discovered.

A man searching an Egyptian tomb finds a Shriner hat and car.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

King Midas: The Golden Years

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Stonehenge Cat.

"I need a companion."

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

Achilles needs first aid.

Well, here's another ancient civilization that didn't get its security deposit back.

'Jason and the vodkasnorts'

"Our plan has failed. The elephants of Hannibal are not frightened by our little mice."