The Birth of Free Market Economics. I wish I had a rock. I wish I had a stick. (Published originally on August 8, 2005.)
Primitive Trade Lover Gifts
Looking for a gift for someone passionate about primitive trade and rustic crafts? Our collection offers witty and thoughtful products that celebrate vintage trades, charming craftsmanship, and rustic artistry. Whether it’s a mug, t-shirt, pillow, or art print, find the perfect token of appreciation for those who appreciate bygone trades and handcrafted traditions. Gift something that sparks nostalgia, creativity, and a love for simpler times with our delightful selection.
Primitive magician
Herding lava back to the fire pit.
"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"
Ape ambushes anteater hiding behind a monolith.
Great Moments in Culinary History.
"Now do you believe me?"
'Thrilling news yesterday; my nephew's got the Lascaux Caves commission.'
"I think we should get a dog."
'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'
"Do you think we could domesticate them?"
'There is still much we don't know about interplanetary travel.'
"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."
Early 3D home entertainment systems.
"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"
'We've got food, shelter and clothing.. and now you want DISHES?'
'They describe the end of the ice age as the Big Brownout. They lost more than 10,000 tonnes of mammoth steaks.'
True, it's a fixer-upper.
"I've always felt that 'caveman' isn't so much a job as it is a lifestyle."
'I gather you're a hunter. I can tell, I'm a hunter-gatherer.'
'Shut up. You're the one who forgot to pay the electric bill.'
It's called "fire"! Now we can compete in a global economy!
'No, it only has a driver-side airbag.'
Why money was invented.
'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'
'These are Oog's peak earning years.'
"If I knew what effect Trump will have on our stock funds, maybe I could sleep."
Before the Domestication of Cows
'Ok, so they've made it through to the Stone Age but do you really think they'll make through to the Digital Age?"
Target
'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'
'It doesn't get any better than this!'
'Look, Garn has invented entertainment.'
'You do realize these colours will look very different in daylight?'
'The neatest part is, it's self-replicating!'
Primitive Trade Lover Gifts Collection
Primitive Trade Lover Mugs
Explore our unique collection of primitive trade mugs—funny, nostalgic, and perfect for coffee or tea lovers who adore vintage craftsmanship.
Primitive Trade Lover Pillows
Add rustic charm to your home with our primitive trade-inspired pillows—cozy, quirky, and crafted with vintage appeal.
Primitive Trade Lover Prints
Bring history to life with our primitive trade art prints—perfect for decorating walls with nostalgic, handcrafted artistry.
Primitive Trade Lover T-Shirts
Discover our primitive trade t-shirts—stylish and witty designs that celebrate rustic crafts and vintage trades in a fun, wearable form.