Primitive Lifestyle Admirer Gifts

"Now do you believe me?"

Primitive magician

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

REPENT! Get back to nature

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"The bad news is I didn't get any food. The good news is I got my 100,000 steps in."

You and your alternative pregnancy.

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

"I think we should get a dog."

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

The Birth of Free Market Economics. I wish I had a rock. I wish I had a stick. (Published originally on August 8, 2005.)

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

Cave College: 'We offer two majors, Hunting and Gathering.'

'It's going to be harder to get back than you think. We're now part of a subculture of a counter culture.'

" Actually, Dear, I said I wanted to start eating 'all natural, not 'au naturel'!"

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

"That's Fred. He was raised by bats..."

"My new boyfriend is free range!"

"Accounting has really changed you, Razor-Face."

"I wish I had his I.Q.!"

"Do you think we could domesticate them?"

'What are they, men or women? I don't know, they're not wearing clothes.'

"What am I supposed to to do? It's my hunter-gatherer instinct"

"It's a quaint, one room, no bath, no half-bath, no basement, no windows, hole-in-a-boulder studio."

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

'And this is our open-to-anything-plan office.'

'We've got food, shelter and clothing.. and now you want DISHES?'

Birthday Suit Alterations

"Hello there, Mulligan's pillows for better posture, let me leave you a brochure."

'It's a vegetarian cave painting.'