Primatology Gifts

Lady studying chimps, chimp studying lady.

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

'Say it like you MEAN it!'

'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'

Jane Goodall patiently gains the trust of her subjects in an unpublicized research project.

"So, how long have you two been in Ghana studying the apes?"

Little known evolutionary steps.

"Peer review is getting tougher and tougher."

"I suppose the polite thing to do would be to invite her over..."

"Remember? Pretend I'm not here!"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

A monkey climbs a DNA double helix.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

"He's reading The Bible - the King Kong version."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Bond James, Bond."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Showbiz Awards

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Director/Action Man toy.

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."