Primary Care Network Staff Gifts

NHS England: PCNs should create 'highly flexible' salaried roles for locum GPs."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Sales.

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

Burnout Syndrome...

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Stevens, get in here. I need a few minutes with the left side of your brain.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"I'm glad you felt able to get that off your chest...now could we discuss next year's targets?"

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."