Primal Humorist Gifts

"Something I ate disagreed with me." "What did you eat?" "Ibuku. He disagreed with me."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"What are you doing?"

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

The invention of the wheel and the axel.

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'Catch this!'

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack