Priesthood Satirist Gifts

Priests getting married

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Priest's 'To do' list.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

Christian and Born again Christian...

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

Drive-thru Church

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

The Ten Really Cool Facts

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Bishops Snooker

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

'Even More Disciples'

"This 'laying up treasures in heaven' thing - Is it some kind of tax dodge or what?"