Price Conscious Partier Gifts

'When I first saw here I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, but not with beer at these prices!'

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

Sale.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Gym. Check in Here. The only time I feel the burn is when I pay the memberbship fee.

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

'This could be a very expensive operation — I'm going to refer you to the Federal Government.'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

Capitalism gone nuts!

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

Doctor's profits match a patient's scar.

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"That fly paper's paid for itself."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'Haven't they ever heard of walls around here?'

'I know you're trying to keep health care costs down - but what kind of life support systems are these?'

'Well, you did insist that our travel agent find the cheapest tickets to Hawaii.'

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'

January Sales

'At $12 a glass, I want it to spit out what it drank.'

Avocado Prices

'This pill you take twice a day before meals. . . this pill you take right after I tell you what those pills cost.'

Pharmacy. These days a miracle drug is one that I can afford.

"I can't afford probiotics . . . How much amateurbiotics?"

"Health insurance? Waking up breathing each morning is my health insurance!"

Purified Water. Look at these prices! Distilled waters run steep!

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'How is it health food prices always make me feel sick as a parrot?'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

"With the economy the way it is, I thought I'd start a garden. One million vegetables shoudl be enough."

"Overpriced to astronomical, sir."