Pretentious Palate T-Shirts

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

"The house of Chardonnay, sir - it's a young wine and a bit fruit forward."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Oh, this old thing?"

"He's such a fussy eater."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

"You notice all the books behind me...one of these days I'll get around to read one."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"We grind our own catnip."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Art Pets

"Frankly, I don't believe his tastevin is in the repair shop."

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Expensive Restaurant

I say if life gives you tapens, make tapenade.

"Yuck. I could make better crêpes fourrées aux boeufs brouillés au parmesan myself."

Larry regrets being friends with the fifth dentist.

'You call that restaurant upscale? I couldn't even get a pitcher of Champagne.'

Coffee-table kids' books

"'Au contraire' to you, too."