Pretentious Dining Explorers T-Shirts

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

Pick Your Own Baby Lamb Chop

Platter confusion.

"It's an extra $2.00 if you want a candle with a wick."

'How was the squid?'

"A table in Siberia, please."

"Ignore the screams, sir. I'll get a new fork."

Executive Tacos

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

'Your bill sir.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Is this the wine you selected at random?"

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

"Are you enjoying your escargot?"

Waiter to diner: 'I'm going to return you to the main menu.'

"We grind our own catnip."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

"We call this Casual/Retro dining. You get up and make your own PB&J back in the kitchen."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'Skip the menu Ramon,i'll just have what he's having,thanks.' / 'Very well sir.'

"Y a qué de la salade?"

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans.' 'Now you don't.'

Drinks same as table decoration

"Welp, where else do you wanna eat?"

'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'

'Is anything O.K.?'

'It's not nouvelle cuisine, Monsieur. You've ordered from the children's menu.'

"Let's go to one of those places where they regurgitate the meal right at your table."

'Here's our chef now with the 'catch of the day'.'