Fancy Restaurant Explorers T-Shirts

'I think tonight's the night. He's taking me to a restaurant where they don't put butcher paper and crayons on your table.'

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I come here for the pepper."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Haute Chinese

Platter confusion.

Bottomless bowl of soup

'Michelin stars? I don't think we have any, but one of the tires on the catering truck might be.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'How was the squid?'

'Okay, so it's not a violin, but he is playing our song.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

"If you find a shiny lure in your fish dinner, the chef would like it back. He needs to catch more fish for dinner."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"More croutons, sir?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

'Heads it's mortgage payment, tails it's 1st growth Bordeaux.'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"You were right-we should have just split one."

'Who orderes the roasted chicken plate and who ordered the soup?'

"Yum! I should have ordered dessert, too—can I try yours?"

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Have you had a chance to look at the menu?"

"Our Fettuccine is eaten with spoon and fork. Angle Hair gets a comb and scissors."

'I like a table next to the action.'

"Don't order the calamari."

'No tables are available at this time. Would you be interested in take-out?'