Posh Palate T-Shirts

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Is anyone enjoying anything?"

Expensive Restaurant

'A cheeky red?'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"How much?! Blimey, to get my money's worth, I'd need to use it EVERY WEEK!"

"Namasteak"

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"I'll have the chef."

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

Drinks same as table decoration

Survival of the Foodiest

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

Specials Board

Restaurant Musician

'Is Sir quite sure he wouldn't prefer a glass?'

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

"What's good here?"

"He's always, like, 'Oh, really? I went to school in Canis Major - well, not in Canis Major, but just outside Canis Major,' and it's like, we get it, you went to Blarvard."

'Perhaps, Monsieur would perfer a different vintage?'

New Acquisitions at the Museum of Modern Food

Proud to be posh!

"Then again, if we don't move to New York, will we ever be taken seriously as bagels?"

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

'Do these trousers make my butler look big?'

Too posh for Padstow!

Two Amateur Artists At Dinner

'Your morning papers, Sir.'

Worshipping at the shrine of posh

"The house of Chardonnay, sir - it's a young wine and a bit fruit forward."